Was it enough?

I know we all have read a hundred of these blog posts over the years.  We as a group of ultrarunners and endurance athletes are some insecure whining babies when it comes to tapers but putting this thought process out there seems to help clear the mind and move us forward.  Even if you don't want to admit it we all have this thought process at one time or another.  I thought by putting it down in writing like so many others have would help clear my mind a little.

Been beating my head against my desk at work this week due to the motivation being at a null right now.  I feel like a kid on the last week of school before summer break.  Finding it hard to focus, my mind keeps wondering over to the upcoming Leadville 100 bike and 100 run.  Of course it does not help that I am now in full taper mode which means I am even more edgy and out of focus from not getting my daily hour or two of exercise.  Yes, I know it is weird to most of the general population that I need that daily exercise to operate normally, most of you reading that sentence understand this feeling or need.  Anyways I have been sitting here wondering over and over have I done enough?  Could I have done more?  Was my approach correct or did I flub it?  I know in my mind that it is normal to have these thoughts going into your main events of the year and it just part of the taper but it does not change the fact that it is happening, even worse this year than in years past it seems.  So to help calm my mind a little I started running reports from my training log on Attackpoint.org that I use to log everything and has all my data in since mid 2008.  Here is what I found as of this morning.  Of course these numbers will increase a little over the next 2 weeks for a taper does not mean to sit on my ass and do nothing but thought it was worth looking at today.

Note:  You can see what the different colors stand for in the bottom of the second chart, and there is a breakdown of the bottom 2 charts in both hours and total miles.

Year to date numbers Jan 1st to Aug 6th 2015 - click to enlarge

How does this compare to past years? (2015 is only 7 months, rest of years are 12 months- yes I almost matched past yearly totals)- click to enlarge

How did 2015 breakdown monthly? (sick a lot in Feb)- click to enlarge

How did the weekly breakdown look so far for 2015? -click to enlarge

How does looking at all this make me feel?  Like I have not done enough.  Yes I realize that it is way more than I have ever done in the past as far as overall work volume but it still feels like it is not enough.  I think that is a feeling that all of us that are involved in endurance sports understand and deal with.  Hell, I could have done double the amount of work getting close to 1000 hours year to date and I still would be sitting here whining about the same thing.  Time to deal with it and get my taper on.

Not much else planned between now and the 100 bike on Aug 15th.  Pacing Clyde this weekend at Silverheels 100 in Fairplay for 20 miles (excited for him!) and a few short bikes and runs not really adding up to anything.  The training is over or as they say, "the hay is in the barn".  The hard part now is not to burn down the barn before race day. 

Moving on I wish all who are now in taper mode a healthy taper and can't wait to see you all in Leadville, you know who you are.   See you all next week!